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Jul. 8th, 2007 | 01:48 pm
mood: hopefulhopeful

I sat here last night and read my entire journal. 

I was amused at the changes in myself. I was so angry when I wrote here. I'm wondering if that is the messege I really want to be sending out into the world. 

I'm taking some good advice and ending this journal, with all it's pain and anger I'm happy to leave it behind. There will be new things in my new journal and hopefully I can leave all this pain and hate behind me.

I'm creating a new one and if you want to be added as a friend please leave me a messege here and you will receive a comment from my new journal.

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Honor Killings: Another Princess Misha'al bint Fahd al Saud

May. 17th, 2007 | 09:51 pm
mood: enragedenraged

Another girl loses her life for "honor", and we show it on CNN as if it's entertainment. 

It makes my heart sick that humans can kill each other in this way. You hear a 17 year old girl screaming and adult men laughing as she dies, because she chose to love a boy of a diffrent sect of the same religion. They stripped her of her veil and her skirt and dragged her half naked into the shreet where men filmed her as she was blugened to death slowly.

I sat here this morning in shock. I thought these ways were long dead. Welcome to another wakeup call.

Where was this poor girls mother, where were her sisters?  Where was the justice for her?
 Military and peace keepers watched as she was murdered. If this poor female was born a boy this murder would not have happened. 

She died because she loved someone. Where was her lover? Why was he not stoned beside her? Oh right, he has more "value".  That poor boy.

I sat here silenced at 9 am this morning. I went to my bedroom and curled up next to my lover and wondered what makes a person capable of inflicting suck pain. What mother would allow her husband to kill her daughter. What uncle would look at his neice and decide she has to die. What bother would drag his sister out of her home to be killed.

It made me look at my (then asleep) lover and wonder weither he were capable of something like that. I know the idea is far fetched, but the men who did this were just men. No diffrent form your brothers, fathers, cousins, lovers, friends. I wonder is my little brother could have enough anger at my sister or me to drag us outsback and torture us because our "honor" was compromised. Could the little boy that I raised do this? Would my sister allow someone to take me away without a fight.

I'd like to answer no to all of these questions. I hope I'll never find out.

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May. 10th, 2007 | 03:27 pm

I was asked what my signs were. Well here they are.

Nope I don't know what they mean. Does anyone have any clues?

Your Planets & Houses
Zodiac in degrees 0.00 Placidus Orb:0
SunVirgo27.39 AscendantPisces6.34
MoonAries29.46 IIAries23.34
MercuryLibra9.51 IIITaurus24.35
VenusScorpio10.38 IVGemini17.30
MarsCapricorn21.02 VCancer8.20
JupiterPisces16.33 R VILeo1.58
SaturnSagittarius4.38 VIIVirgo6.34
UranusSagittarius18.36 VIIILibra23.34
NeptuneCapricorn3.04 IXScorpio24.35
PlutoScorpio5.46 MidheavenSagittarius17.30
LilithGemini22.59 XICapricorn8.20
Asc nodeAries20.50 XIIAquarius1.58
Planets in the houses
Asc nodeinAscendant

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(no subject)

May. 4th, 2007 | 06:24 am
mood: crushedcrushed

So tired.
I can't sleep anymore.
I want to wake up

Tired of nightmares.

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(no subject)

Apr. 30th, 2007 | 04:49 pm

So Beltane.


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(no subject)

Mar. 4th, 2007 | 08:57 am

Just another day of lunch pan Mary's, and friendly fire that isn't.

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Not again.

Feb. 16th, 2007 | 11:35 am
mood: worriedworried

I had a really horrible night. I'm taking today to recover. I could use a night of brainlessness pretty badly. But I'm hurting too much to go out.

I've decided that being alone sucks. As much as I'd like to think I'm fine on my own, I'm just not used to having no one around. I miss the sounds of people in my house.

*Sigh* Atleast I have the siblings coming over for the weekend, that should be amusing.

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Dec. 31st, 2006 | 01:46 pm

One look
The eyes of a loved one,
a crazy dream,
books of poetry
flowing out of pursed lips.
My mirror cracked last night.
His eyes bled regret
shaped of tears.
My outlook does a 360,
after 20 pages.

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Why are we cruel?

Dec. 22nd, 2006 | 11:23 pm
mood: sadsad

Today I need to tell a story, for no other reason than it deserves to be told.

Mrs. Neil is a stroke victum. You see Mrs. Neil can't smile, she can't lift a spoon in her right hand, and she can't walk without limping.

Every other morning I see Mrs. Neil. She has a pot of coffee on the stove when I arrive and two mugs and creamer waiting on her little table by her front window. We usually chat, talk about the newspaper, and once a week we take a drive to get her hair done(She's such a vain creature who hates for people to see what little hair she has under her wig).

Today was diffrent.

I walked up to her apartment in the senior housing district, and for once I didn't see her looking out the window at me. Actully there were no lights on in the front room at all. Of course I was worried, so I ran up to the door and rang the bell. No one answered. Seeing as our routeine doesn't change, and her mind is sharp as ever there is no way that she could have forgotten. I panicked, without thinking I turned the knob and walked in.

Mrs. Neil, the thick skinned woman who used to bartend in brooklin, was sitting in the dark of her living room with a photo album crying her eyes out. She hadn't even gotten dressed for the day and was sitting in her flannel sheep printed pj's, (that we had shopped for last week) sobbing over the fact that she would not be allowed to see her grandchildren this christmas. She told me that she received a phone call from her son-in-law saying that it would be "Inconvenient to pick her up for dinner" this year.

Her son-in-law lives a grand total of 10 miles away and has been receiving monatary help from Mrs. Neil for many years inorder to send his children to private school. This is the gratitude afforded to her. Shame on him and Shame on his wife for letting him do this.

She's not alone. She's not the only one spending this holiday alone. Please friends don't let this happen to anyone close to you. If you know someone in a similar position as Mrs. Neil. Make their day. Stop and see them, bring them cookies, or even a card. You would be suprised how something so small as coffee and talk can change a persons day.

You'll be happy to know that Mrs. Neil will not be alone. Some of Mrs. Neils girl friends and I are going over to Mrs. Neils house with a plate of cookies and some gormet coffee. No one, least of all an inspiring lady like Mrs. Neil should be left without the warmth of friends especially over the holidays.

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Dec. 15th, 2006 | 11:22 am

WHOOOTTT!!! I passed! Freekout ended.

Ok time to go to VT. See ya all soon.

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